Testimony

Life before Christ

When I was growing up as a child, church was just something you randomly attend when it's convenient. I knew that God exists and that He is there and you can pray to Him for whatever it is that you need and that's it. Jesus is something I have heard but I have no idea who He is besides being crucified. No idea why, and I just didn't care.

I was living in Philippines with my Dad and my middle brother, Ivan, and some other family in our house. And each day our Dad would leave for work, me and my brother became slaves to the other family and would make us do all the house chores.  Any minor mistakes we make lead to us being physically abused. We could not speak back to them or tell our Dad what happened to us each day. From time to time, we are even sexually abused.

When I reached the age of 12, our Mom sponsored us to come to Toronto, ON, Canada. I started middle school Grade 7 and 8 and got through adjusting and bullying. Once in high school, I was starting to feel that school was becoming pointless and education meaningless. I had no goals or any motivation. Even if this was the case, I still had very strong interest in Computer Science, Programming, and Engineering. But I was never given any encouragement to strive in school. I suppose. I was the kind of person that strongly needed pushing and encouraging. Even if my Mom never encouraged me, I still thank her for she was my provider and she was there. Her love was enough. She's not perfect but I know she did what she could and I thank her for it.

By the 3rd year of high school is when things really became dim. My brothers moved out. And it was just me and my mom left. We moved a few times and I bounced schools and then back again. We didn’t own a house and only rented a room in a house that one of my mom’s friends own. Then I got into an argument with my mom. Although we argue quite a bit, this one was different because I ran away the next day. I didn't know where I was going. I ended up at this mall called Albion Mall. Stayed there for a few hours, still not knowing what I’m going to do or where I’m going to stay. I saw a sign about this youth shelter in downtown Toronto and that’s where I went. It was about to get dark when I arrived. I talked to the guy at the counter and he welcomed me in, no questions asked. I stayed there for a week and then I got an email from my mom that touched my heart so I came back home the same day. We talked and I made a decision to stop school and just work since school was useless in my opinion at that time.

Working was good, I found jobs easily through agencies. This is when I realized that I had an income, paid my share of the rent and had quite a bit of leftover for myself. And because of this, I was able to support my gaming addiction. We moved to a house and rented the entire first floor and my brothers rejoined us and pooled our income. From then on, my life became just working and then coming home to play games, more specifically online games. The game genre I played the most was called MMORPG, which was designed to be played for extended periods of time with a group of people online.

As time went on, because of my addiction, I became obese and eventually stopped working. Since I no longer had income, I gave my credit card to my mom to pay for my rent. She was also the one paying my minimum payments for my credit card, and never broke my credit history. It went on like this for a long time. So eventually, I couldn’t do that anymore. I started applying for jobs but never pursued any of them and I would even ignore some phone calls because I was ashamed of myself and my qualities and what I have to offer. I had no motivation to go out at all and so I just did what I could do. Continue to play games. My credit card was maxed out at $14000 and my bank was on maxed overdraft. I weighed over 220lb with no job, no goals, no motivation, no real friends, no life, and literally no money. Who would give me that push and encouragement?

How I came to know Christ

At about the age of 25, my brother, Ivan, was working for this restaurant for a while now and he said they were looking for another person and so he recommended me. One thing about my middle brother is that we grew up together and are very close. And so, with just that little suggestion, I was hired and was working once again and paying my rent and debt. One day at work, I made a minor mistake and my employer got really mad and he made fun of me in front of my brother. My brother stood up for me and he fired my brother. I stayed and worked there for a few more weeks and eventually, it was getting crazy so I left. A week later, the restaurant closed down. So now my brother and I were jobless.

One day, my brother was going for an interview for this job at a restaurant. He asked me to tag along because they were also looking for a dishwasher/cleaner. He only stayed there for one day of training because he didn’t like it but I was hired as an overnight cleaner. My job was to clean the restaurant after it was closed and do some minor maintenance on some the equipment. Being an obese person, it was very hard for me to do. There were plenty of times that I was ready to quit because of the labor. But I stayed and endured it, and as a result, I lost all my gained weight and paid off all my financial debts. I worked at the restaurant from September 2010.

In the midst of the joy of having a job, I was actually getting back to gaming again. At the same time, I am realizing that my workplace isn't just a normal workplace. This wasn't just a regular job at all. My boss, also the owner of the restaurant, would randomly show up in the middle of the night while I was working to annoy me. I wanted him to leave each time because I have work to do and he's slowing me down. He comes to tell me about God. He has preached to me a lot of messages. I have forgotten most of them but there is one thing that stuck out the most that I can remember so very clearly. And that is, counting your blessings. Remembering what you asked from God.

This really got me very curious about God. I did ask God for help. I have prayed before and now this is happening? It is almost as if He is reminding me that "I Am the one calling to you." He used my brother who's not close to God to lead me here. My brother! The one and only person that I would listen to back then. When I needed the push and encouragement. God knew who would move me. I began to read the Bible to get to know about God more. And I went from being annoyed by my boss about bothering me at work to anticipating his next return so I can hear more about God.

I started regularly attending church around February 2012. I attended the Good Friday service but missed the Easter service because of work since I worked 6 days a week, Monday to Saturday. So, to compensate, I watched Passion of Christ movie on YouTube. I’ve seen it before a long time ago, but it was just a movie then and I didn’t really understand it. After all, I had no idea who Jesus was. But this time it was different. I’ve gotten to know Jesus and what he’s been through.

A girl from church named Kunthea, who’s a very good friend of mine, posted something on Facebook about a pastor named Joseph Prince and I was curious about him. Actually, it more like I had a crush on her and wanted to get to know her more. Anyway, back to the pastor, it was his ministry's 5th anniversary. He’s a preacher of the Good News and Grace, which is Jesus. I ordered a couple of his DVDs, 'Speak God's Language of Faith' and 'Prayer - How. What. Why'. After I watched them, there was a prayer that I prayed and I was balling my eyes out as I fell on my knees praying and thanking my Father. This was at the end of April 2012, when I was completely and has truly been saved. I finally understood who Jesus is and what He has done for me. I finally understood what unconditional love is, and the grace that God our Father has given me. To send Jesus to die for me, a sinner, who could care less about him before. This was a massive turn around for me, and I dedicated my life to Christ and started getting more involved with the church. And not long after that, I was baptized a few months later on August 12, 2012.

I quickly came out of my shell after I had injected myself into people’s lives. As an introvert, this was nerve wracking, but I felt a huge push telling me that nothing was going to happen if I stayed silent in church. I met so many people and became friends with the lot of them. I got involved with the worship ministry as a sound technician and the youth ministry as one of the leaders. It was so rewarding and I have never felt happiness that way before in my life.

Life after receiving Jesus and following Him

Receiving Christ has dramatically changed my perspective on life all together. It’s so hard to stay hurt or angry when I have a voice in my head to ease the pain and anger in my heart and is constantly giving me hope, peace, and joy. I became cautious of sin and I now run away from it, though it is not easy. Not only sin, but thoughts and/or decisions I have made that, as a result, made me feel guilty. This guilt is one of the many things the devil will use against you to condemn you. By letting this control you, you give the devil a foothold that will lead you to self-destruction. So, I became resistant and really pray about guilt and shame so my peace and joy may be restored.

I would always be reminded that I am perfectly righteous in the eyes of God. That God is my Heavenly Father. And that He loves me so dearly. He has forgiven my past, present and future sins. He is my redeemer. And I am always constantly reminded of what happened on the cross. For nothing I do will make me righteous to God. It is all because of Jesus. Jesus is my Lord. He is my Savior.

20 I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. 21 I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose. – Galatians 2

Since I have known Christ, I have learned, what I think is, the most beautiful thing in this world. And that is God’s way of love called “true unconditional love.” John 3:16. To love without expecting anything in return. Self-less and self-sacrificing love. I thank Jesus Christ for teaching and showing me about this amazing love.

So Father, as you have commanded all who has believed in your son. Who has received Christ. I will not be ashamed to declare Jesus as my personal savior. For I am dead to sin and the old but alive to God in you, Christ Jesus. Amen.