Confronting Fear

We all battle fear. Anything that hinders us from doing what we want, or doing the right thing. Fear of being ashamed. Fear of embarrassment. There's a lot of it and each person has a different type of fear that they struggle with.

My fear is my shortcomings. The years I've lost due to me wandering off not knowing where to go and what to do. Uninformed of the world. I didn't take school seriously. I wasn't made aware of how important it was. My shortcomings consists of lack of education, having not finished high school, and years of social isolation. These are my weaknesses and my fear which leads to other fears like the one I mentioned from previous post. Having low comprehension level, and struggle to organize my thoughts and remember them. During a conversation, my mind can easily wander off or focus on something said trying to comprehend it and block out the rest of the information coming in. Hate it! But knowing these, I can easily distinguish what God is doing in my life. For when I'm weak, He is strong.

Few months ago, I've developed a way to counter these with Biblical truths. Although I still struggle, I could grow and overcome them. So how do I confront fear? Having the knowledge that by keeping yourself cooped up in your comfort zone is fear. Afraid to try new things. Afraid of change. Afraid to make a difference. Here are my notes about fear and overcoming it.

• Fear prevents forward progress.
• Anytime we make any forward progress, Satan will take a step against us to see if we will crawl back in our hole.
• Stand your ground.
• Don't fear the unknown or change.
• Always move forward.
• "I will not fear!"
• We can feel afraid and still not be afraid!
• Feel is in the flesh, but who we are are from our "born again" spirit.
• Fear is from the devil. We do not have to live in fear. Believe in God, for He is faithful.
• LOVE is the main theme.
• Pay attention to what God is doing in our lives.
• Perfect love. No fear in love. Perfect love casts our fear.
• God has not sent us to be tormented.
• God is LOVE. God loves us very much!
• Do not be afraid of any circumstances.
• Fear is a dead end, but faith always has a future. Fear opens the door for Satan to work in our lives. Faith opens the door for God to work in our lives.
• God is giving us divine experience.
• Trust in His will for us. Not our own.

Finally, encouraging truths from the Bible.

1 John 4:8-19 (ESV)

⁸ Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. ⁹ In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. ¹⁰ In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. ¹¹ Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. ¹² No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.
¹³ By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. ¹⁴ And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. ¹⁵ Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. ¹⁶ So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. ¹⁷ By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. ¹⁸ There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. ¹⁹ We love because he first loved us.

Romans 8:31;35-39 (ESV)
³¹ What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
...
³⁵ Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? ³⁶ As it is written,

“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
    we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”

³⁷ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, ³⁹ nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Ephesians 3:17-20 (ESV)

¹⁷ so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, ¹⁸ may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, ¹⁹ and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

²⁰ Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, ²¹ to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

Hebrews 13 (ESV)
⁵ Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” ⁶ So we can confidently say,

“The Lord is my helper;
    I will not fear;
what can man do to me?”

2 Peter 3 (ESV)
¹⁴ Therefore, beloved, since you are waiting for these, be diligent to be found by him without spot or blemish, and at peace.

2 Timothy 1 (ESV)
⁷ for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

Psalm 118:6 (ESV)
⁶ The Lord is on my side; I will not fear.
    What can man do to me?

Isaiah 41 (ESV)

¹⁰ fear not, for I am with you;
    be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

There really is nothing to be fearful of. But it's in our nature to be afraid of unknown. Physically, mentally, emotionally. That's why our walk with God will always be a great adventure. It is a transformation filled with surprises and awesome revelations. Even with all of these, I struggle day after day. But I will try my best to be dependent and lean on Him, my Solid Rock.

What is the worst thing in life? Death. If you're guaranteed life because of Jesus' finished work, what else is there to be afraid of? Living a miserable life is a choice that we make, and completely optional. God is always faithful.

Friend You've Been Searching For

It's been a while since I've posted something here. It's been a roller coaster ride since then. For now, I'd like to focus on a particular issue or struggle of mine.

To get to the main point, I struggle of having no real close friend(s). In High School, I had friends. In fact, I had different group of friends. But never really belonged fully with any of them. Or grew "close" to any one of them. Even then, it didn't really matter. Since I've dropped out of HS, I was disconnected with them. I was also socially disconnected with the rest of the physical world. During my gaming years, I communicated with my fingers (typed). There are some people where I did feel that they were my friend... located in some other parts of the world. Even going as far as having a long distance relationship. Looking back now, I was really searching for something... someone.

Since coming out of my hole, I was reconnected with the world. But my social skills has diminished by a lot. It's taking time but it's improving, I would say. And after giving my life to Christ, my Saviour, life has been very social. I do force myself to interact and communicate. But being an introvert, it is a challenge. Especially when I've reached my limit and become socially drained.

Since baptism, I feel something is still missing. And I continue to search for it. It wasn't until the end of Urbana 2012 that I figured out what it is that I was searching for. What I was feeling was loneliness and sadness. Not as far as depression but just longing for something I've never had in my life, ever. I was searching for a friend. Someone I can talk to. Share whatever it is that's in my mind. Good things, bad things, nonsense, jokes, anything. Someone that will listen to me, regardless of how stupid, silly, or wrong I am. Someone that will offer advice to me even if it won't help, but at least they tried. Someone who reminds me to humble myself. Someone who offers comfort when I just don't know what to do anymore. Someone that will encourage and push me to do the things I'm held accountable for. Someone to remind me of my commitments but not bring me down but helps me get there no matter how little it is. Someone who understands me and never stops believing in me. Someone who will love me for who I am, how God created me to be, regardless of my shortcomings, mistakes, and ignorance. And of course, I want to be this kind of friend as well to him/her.

I reach out for each individual that I see that could potentially be this... friend. It starts out as good, but then it dies down pretty quickly. And then I'm always left disappointed. Is it me? Am I too socially awkward? Is my history too scary? Is my testimony too overwhelming? Is it my social status? Sometimes, I feel like I live in a different world from everyone else. I don't know most things people talk about. So I'm left in silence in a group conversation. Then I feel like I don't belong and have absolutely no place in there. Perhaps it's best for me to just walk away slowly, for I have nothing to bring in that table.

During the trip back to Urbana 2012, it just hit me. This friend I'm searching for... does not exist in this world. So no matter who I find here on earth, I will always be disappointed. Yet, this "perfect" close friend I'm looking for, I found Him. His name is Jesus. He's someone I can just talk to. Share whatever's in my mind. Good things and bad things. Nonsense, jokes or anything. He'll listen to me regardless of how stupid or silly or wrong I am. He offers me advice and is always faithful. He reminds me to humble myself. He offers me comfort through all my worries, indecisiveness, doubts, fears and discontent. He encourages me and push me to do things I'm held accountable for. He reminds me of my commitments and helps me get there. He understands me completely and never gives up on me. And He loves me for who I am, regardless of my shortcomings, mistakes, and ignorance.

Knowing that I have a friend like this. I want to be this kind of friend to someone. I can't be a perfect friend and this I now know that nobody can. But I can rely on Jesus, who lives in me, so that I can be that kind of friend to someone. Thank you, Lord Jesus Christ for being the one true friend that will never disappoint me.

This is what it truly means to have a personal relationship with Christ. You may be struggling with something similar. I ask you to let Christ in your life. No matter what you've done, He wants to be part of your life. He's the best of friends you could ever have. And He's just waiting for you to accept Him. Are you still searching for that friend? He's waiting...