Dream... Into Reality?

I was at Urbana 2012 in St Louis, MO. It's a Christian Mission Conference geared towards college/university students but anyone could join. There was about 16,000 people there. During that time, God has reignited a passion that was sleeping in my heart. I had a passion for broken people that are victims of sexual exploitation.

Sex Trafficking. It's a form of Human Trafficking. Which by definition is the recruitment, transportation, transfer, harboring or receipt of persons, by means of threat or use of force or other forms of coercion, of abduction, of fraud, of deception, of the abuse of power or of a position of vulnerability or of the giving or receiving of payments or benefits to achieve the consent of a person having control over another person, for the purpose of exploitation. Exploitation includes sexual exploitation, forced labor or services and/or slavery.

My passion is more focused on Child Sex Trafficking. God has given me a path to follow. He gave me a strong passion and a strong interest in Psychology. To study it in a biblical, spiritual perspective. And move in to counseling, healing and restoration of the victims. I don't have any money to pursue this. I have been in debt before and I don't wanna take a student loan. Even if I did, when I move into the field of counseling, I don't wanna do it to pay my living expenses. Besides, the places where healing is needed most are places that can't even afford a counselor. I wanna do counseling because that's what I want to do, and whether or not I get paid, I will do it because the victims matters. I would do full time volunteer counseling, healing and letting victims hear the Gospel, that despite of the horrifying traumatic experience they've gone through, there's Someone that loves them unconditionally. Sees them as beautiful. That there is hope.

I also wanna build facilities around the world that would house victims of sex trafficking. A place they would feel safe in. Where they can get counseling. Seek Godly advice. Build life-long relationships. Develop skills and learn and study. A place of worship. And equip them with the Gospel so as they enter back into society with Christ centered in their hearts and life, they'll be able to share their powerful testimony of how God transformed their life.

These are all in my head… Is it wrong to dream so big? Are we not able to bring our dreams into reality? If God is the center of all your dreams, is it wrong to keep asking and praying for Him to turn it into a reality and take steps towards it? I believe it's possible to dream big with God… and we can be sure that He will turn it into reality and His glory will shine as it happens. Fix your eyes on Jesus, dream big, surrender it to Him, place Him in the center of it and watch Him as He turns it into reality.

Confronting Fear

We all battle fear. Anything that hinders us from doing what we want, or doing the right thing. Fear of being ashamed. Fear of embarrassment. There's a lot of it and each person has a different type of fear that they struggle with.

My fear is my shortcomings. The years I've lost due to me wandering off not knowing where to go and what to do. Uninformed of the world. I didn't take school seriously. I wasn't made aware of how important it was. My shortcomings consists of lack of education, having not finished high school, and years of social isolation. These are my weaknesses and my fear which leads to other fears like the one I mentioned from previous post. Having low comprehension level, and struggle to organize my thoughts and remember them. During a conversation, my mind can easily wander off or focus on something said trying to comprehend it and block out the rest of the information coming in. Hate it! But knowing these, I can easily distinguish what God is doing in my life. For when I'm weak, He is strong.

Few months ago, I've developed a way to counter these with Biblical truths. Although I still struggle, I could grow and overcome them. So how do I confront fear? Having the knowledge that by keeping yourself cooped up in your comfort zone is fear. Afraid to try new things. Afraid of change. Afraid to make a difference. Here are my notes about fear and overcoming it.

• Fear prevents forward progress.
• Anytime we make any forward progress, Satan will take a step against us to see if we will crawl back in our hole.
• Stand your ground.
• Don't fear the unknown or change.
• Always move forward.
• "I will not fear!"
• We can feel afraid and still not be afraid!
• Feel is in the flesh, but who we are are from our "born again" spirit.
• Fear is from the devil. We do not have to live in fear. Believe in God, for He is faithful.
• LOVE is the main theme.
• Pay attention to what God is doing in our lives.
• Perfect love. No fear in love. Perfect love casts our fear.
• God has not sent us to be tormented.
• God is LOVE. God loves us very much!
• Do not be afraid of any circumstances.
• Fear is a dead end, but faith always has a future. Fear opens the door for Satan to work in our lives. Faith opens the door for God to work in our lives.
• God is giving us divine experience.
• Trust in His will for us. Not our own.

Finally, encouraging truths from the Bible.

1 John 4:8-19 (ESV)

⁸ Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. ⁹ In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. ¹⁰ In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. ¹¹ Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. ¹² No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.
¹³ By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. ¹⁴ And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. ¹⁵ Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. ¹⁶ So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. ¹⁷ By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. ¹⁸ There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. ¹⁹ We love because he first loved us.

Romans 8:31;35-39 (ESV)
³¹ What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
...
³⁵ Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? ³⁶ As it is written,

“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
    we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”

³⁷ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, ³⁹ nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Ephesians 3:17-20 (ESV)

¹⁷ so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, ¹⁸ may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, ¹⁹ and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

²⁰ Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, ²¹ to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

Hebrews 13 (ESV)
⁵ Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” ⁶ So we can confidently say,

“The Lord is my helper;
    I will not fear;
what can man do to me?”

2 Peter 3 (ESV)
¹⁴ Therefore, beloved, since you are waiting for these, be diligent to be found by him without spot or blemish, and at peace.

2 Timothy 1 (ESV)
⁷ for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

Psalm 118:6 (ESV)
⁶ The Lord is on my side; I will not fear.
    What can man do to me?

Isaiah 41 (ESV)

¹⁰ fear not, for I am with you;
    be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

There really is nothing to be fearful of. But it's in our nature to be afraid of unknown. Physically, mentally, emotionally. That's why our walk with God will always be a great adventure. It is a transformation filled with surprises and awesome revelations. Even with all of these, I struggle day after day. But I will try my best to be dependent and lean on Him, my Solid Rock.

What is the worst thing in life? Death. If you're guaranteed life because of Jesus' finished work, what else is there to be afraid of? Living a miserable life is a choice that we make, and completely optional. God is always faithful.

Perfectionist / Perfectionism

I have to admit that I'm very guilty of being a total perfectionist of doing things. When I touch something or do something, it has to be perfect. The cost would be energy and time and sometimes even finances. Or all of the above. It looks bad, doesn't it?

Just recently moved my blog from WordPress to Blogger. Most of my stuff (contacts, calendar, virtual drive, documents, etc.) are with Google. It only makes sense to have my blog there too since they do provide the service anyway. Not to mention, I don't have to pay $12 or so a year for mapping my domain name to the blog URL. Blogger provides it free. Plus, we can customize our favicon! That's neat!

Moving to Blogger, there was some things that needs getting used to. One thing to note is that the dashboard is extremely faster than WordPress' dashboard. Less options, and there are some really annoying things in the editor. One thing is that it uses < br > tags for paragraphs instead of < p > tags. It creates some really annoying formatting problems. It took a couple of nights and some hours to finally settle down and accept that it's NOT WordPress anymore. Haha.....

I had to customize everything so that it is to my liking. I do hate being a perfectionist sometimes. But I realize, it's okay if I can control it and spend that for God instead. I know that I'm not perfect and even if I use the term "perfectionist," I don't literally mean it that way.

If I can be a perfectionist for something so small, and things I do and touch on a day to day basis, there's no reason why I can't be an perfectionist for God. In a spiritual, digging-deeper, asking and understanding, repenting, loving and praying kind of way. Not the weird, cultist, religion rules and regulations, pharisee kind of way, lol.

Well this is what I learned this week. My evaluations and convictions. Something I definitely need to apply to myself regularly. I already do it on almost everything else... why not for my Lord and Saviour Christ Jesus?

But the real issue is getting rid of this all together or at least limit it to a moderation. Honestly, I don't like being a "perfectionist". Its got its pros and cons, but mostly cons because it's just draining. Striving for something unreachable sometimes and just end up disappointed. Working on something and end up where there's a tiny error and you're, again, disappointed. My experience has led me to waste even more time redoing and still, it's not "perfect" and to my liking. Then I look at myself and recap how much time I wasted. In the end, I wasted time and accomplished nothing and I'm extremely disappointed and exhausted.

Heavenly Father, I thank you for you're still shaping me. You've done a lot of things in my life since I've given my life to my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. Continue to shape me. Continue to mold me. Help me overcome what's constantly holding me back. I don't want to be a perfectionist because I am not perfect. I want to be happy with the simplest things even if they don't look "perfect." Teach me to have a heart like yours. To have eyes that sees what you see. And a mind that seeks what you seek. In your precious Son's name, I pray. Amen.

The Same Love - Paul Baloche

This song was played in my church at Rexdale and I instantly fell in love with it. So simple yet so powerful. The theme really touches me. God's love is for everyone! Everyone is invited! A feast has been prepared and it is free to partake! Answer His call. His love for us heals the harshest, deepest wounds.

All praises to the Lord Jesus Christ, our Saviour!

A Revelation

Shortly after my baptism, I felt a heavy burden in me. It was so heavy that on some days, it was hard to breathe. I have posted about it below. Basically, I felt only alive during Sundays, and from the time I come home from church to Saturday night, I felt completely alone, empty, and sadness engulfed me.

And then I posted again, 2 days later when the Lord answered my cry. It was amazing.

Now, just last week Thursday. I had a choir rehearsal for the Sunday service. As I walked in my church at Rexdale, (it was kinda empty because I was too early, as usual) a thought entered my mind. It was from God, "You cried to me and I heard you. You wanted everyday to be like Sundays, and now it is." I was in awe when I heard this. I didn't know how to process it. But I totally agreed. I was aware that almost every single day now, I'm in church. But I have completely forgotten what I asked from God. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ! He remains faithful and never forgets when we easily do.

I really thank God for all the things He does for me and for everyone. The love, discipline, guidance, teaching, wisdom, answered prayers, confirmations, revelations. I cannot live any other way without God by my side. Either He's always there with me, or He's already secured the path and waiting for me on the other end, or He carries me to where I need to be. What a beautiful loving relationship.

Look for Christ and you will find Him

“Your real, new self (which is Christ's and also yours, and yours just because it is His) will not come as long as you are looking for it. It will come when you are looking for Him. Does that sound strange? The same principle holds, you know, for more everyday matters. Even in social life, you will never make a good impression on other people until you stop thinking about what sort of impression you are making. Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it. The principle runs through all life from top to bottom, Give up yourself, and you will find your real self. Lose your life and you will save it. Submit to death, death of your ambitions and favourite wishes every day and death of your whole body in the end submit with every fibre of your being, and you will find eternal life. Keep back nothing. Nothing that you have not given away will be really yours. Nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the dead. Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in.”

― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Song of Encouragement

There are so many Christian worship songs of encouragements but we always have our favorite ones. I'm sure many of us have a lot! I still don't know many Christian songs. Sometimes I'm in a group of people singing these songs I don't even know. Apparently, it is very popular. I used to feel ashamed and kind out of place. But not anymore. If I don't know the song, I don't sing it. I listen and try to sing when I get the grasp of it.

Anyways, when something is aching my heart or I feel uneasy and/or worried about something, sometimes I just meditate on God's Words and it goes away after a few minutes. Or I would play one of my favorite songs of encouragement which is "Find You On My Knees" by Kari Jobe. In fact, she's a link to the path that lead me to being baptized. But that's another story!

Hope you find this song very encouraging because the lyrics speaks so loud to me. It reminds me of my past life and what He's done and my current life to remain faithful and trust in the Lord. It is an amazing song!

Circumstances?

So how do see your circumstances? You wake up in the morning and look out your window, it's raining. You have plans today to go out and/or do some errands. Now you feel irritated. Would you look past the negatives and see the positives? Stop and listen for a second. Perhaps God just wants you to rest right now. He's seen how you work all week. You're getting overworked, stressed and restless. Soon you'll be easily angered. Rest. Give thanks to Him for giving you rest. For watering the plants and crops. Now you have time for Him.

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28 (ESV)
give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (ESV)

Again, how do you see your circumstances?

God is Faithful

1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

You just continue to amaze me with what You're doing. You only tempt me what I can endure. I cried out to You when I feel miserable. But I know You are there. Your presence comforts me. I thank You for disciplining me. For what happens to a child when he is not disciplined by his father? Thank you Heavenly Father! You have shown me true kindness. I will remain faithful to You because I know that whatever it is that You allow to happen in my life, it is Your will. And You know what's best for me at any given time. I refuse to take control of my life without Your guidance.

You have shown me that if I remain faithful to You, if I take delight in You, You would give the desires of my heart. Psalm 37:4 And so You have. And I know there is much much more to come. So I thank you Father for the amazing retreat that You have allowed me to go to. Meeting wonderful people, His church, His body. Connecting, sharing, having fun. I know You never let anything go to waste. You have a plan in everything, whether it is to teach, experience, discipline, trials to endure to get stronger, or be used for Your purpose. So I have complete trust in You. Lord Jesus, I just want You to always take the lead, in Your name, my Lord and mighty Saviour. Amen.

And the Lord heard my cry!

Twice. Once from Vechka, my dear fellow Christian friend, sister in Christ, who was brave enough to click at my blog through Facebook...

And the other was just thrown at my face directly. Like a brick to the head, which is basically the same thing as what Vechka told me. I had time this morning to watch a sermon and I have plenty of choices. One I haven't heard from yet is John Piper. His sermon (2 Timothy 4:9–22) was long, and I was falling asleep on some parts of them. And I completely missed the message that was for me. After it finished, I noticed there is a text version of the entire sermon right under the video. And this just hit me in the head:

Jesus never intended that the enjoyment of his presence would replace the enjoyment of the presence of Christian friends.

Or to put it another way, When Christ died so that you could enjoy him supremely and forever, he did not nullify the fellowship of believers, he created it. Christ always intended that your friendship with him would be the heartbeat of your friendship with others. His presence would be the central joy of Christian friendship. And the joy of Christ-centered friendship would magnify the worth of Christ as the common treasure.

Where do I see that in this text? Look at verse 17. Even though everyone one else failed to show up at my trial: “Nevertheless the Lord stood by me and strengthened me.” Now, if that’s all we had we might say: See, when you have Jesus, you have one who never fails you, and so you don’t need those fallible, finite, failing friends.

But what does Paul say? Verse 9: “Do your best to come to me soon.” Verse 21: “Do your best to come before winter.” He wants Timothy’s presence. He longs for it. And this is no exception for Paul. He often spoke this way.

To the Romans, “I long to see you” (Romans 1:11). “I have longed for many years to come to you” (Romans 15:23). To the Philippians, “I love and long for, my joy and crown” (Philippians 4:1). To the Thessalonians: “Being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us” (1 Thessalonians 2:8).

So, even though, mere human beings are fickle, finite, fallen, fallible, failing friends, while Jesus was never-failing, Paul cherished such imperfect human friendship. Jesus never intended that the enjoyment of his presence would replace the enjoyment of the presence of other Christians. Christ did not die to create isolated worshipping individuals. He died to create Christ-exalting friendships. That is, he died and rose again to create the church.

I don't know what else to say after that aside from giving Him thanks. Praise the Lord! Thank you Lord Jesus.

Link to this entire sermon:
http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/sermons/he-stood-by-me-and-strengthened-me-for-the-sake-of-the-gospel

Live for Sundays~

It has been a long while since my last post. A WHOLE LOT has happened. But now isn't the time for summarizing all of that. Just need to cry out something that just keeps coming back to me frequently.

I live for Sundays... Each day of the week that isn't Sunday, I await the next Sunday. Why? It is the day I am completely united again with the body of Christ. His bride, the church, the people.

This shouldn't be so! Why only Sundays? It should be everyday! But that's the problem... I still do not know many people I can comfortably talk about anything and everything. I wanna jump at any opportunity to get to know His people and connect. But at the moment, I do not have any close relationship with another child of God. I want to have one... even just one... But why is that so hard to have?

And why do I even have any desire for that? Why do I need to have another person to encourage me? To care for me? All of those are good but why? Why do I feel that? Because of my Lord Jesus, God is with me. Shouldn't that be enough? Yes, I feel great and I can overcome these feelings because of God's promise and His Word. Meditating on them eases my heart. His voice calms my mind and convicts me. But why do these feelings of loneliness and sadness, etc. frequently returns?

Hear my cry, Oh Lord!

And still You want me...

BarlowGirl - I Need You To Love Me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqrO07PuZCk

You're a God who has all things, and still You want me...

This song pretty much describes my life's spiritual journey. I spent so much time doing meaningless things and being lost and not knowing where to go. Pushing Him away. But He never left me. He loved me so much that He eventually put me in a position where I was able to open my door, reach out and let Him in. I had it on loop for 6 hours during work. Great song. And BarlowGirl is a great band. Hope they tour Canada.

A friend told me that once you start listening to these type of songs, you'll never go back to listening to "today's" music. And in a way, it's true for the most part. And I completely agree. When I did listen to some of these "today's music", which are mostly about party, drugs, sex, [insert more immoral things here], I never really listened or pay attention to the lyrics because I just simply liked the beats and sound/rhymes. I guess that's why I prefer listening to video game music, instrumental music and trance. They seem to have more meaning and/or emotion, in a way. And peaceful, in a way.

I have actually liked these inspirational type of songs and I still do. I just don't know the name of the singers to be looking for. Because there are songs that I can't stand even if it's meaningful (eeek!) because of the way it sounds. So another friend gave me the annoyed look because of my reasoning. Even suggested some artists which I can't remember except for Chris Tomlin. I also answered my own question too, INTERNET!

So with that little push, I took the time to do some research. Wanted 2 male and 2 female for a nice variety. I also wanted something that will not annoy me. Because let's face it, if you can't stand the music, why force yourself to listen to it? So with that in mind, I was looking for light rock, pop'ish, BackStreet Boys, Celine Dion, Avril Lavigne, Evanescense type. Bought 4 albums off iTunes.

• The Afters - Light Up the Sky


• Matthew West - The Story of Your Life


• Audrey Assad - Heart


• BarlowGirl - Our Journey... So Far

Already have some memorized and the song above is one of them! Well you would think if someone just listened to it for 6 hours straight, they would have it memorized, yeah? In any case, the only other music I listen to are love songs, songs that has a meaning but not necessarily a worship song (ie. Jessie J - Price Tag), or music without lyrics. Though I haven't listened to them in a while. These 4 albums just have so much meaning.

In other news, I did some changes in my "About Me" and "Copyright" pages.

God bless!

What if there's a bigger picture?

Great song. Great message. I can relate. And so can you! Love God and love your neighbor. Your life is not about you.

Matthew West - My Own Little World

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9Yasgzjc0w

You are who you are for a reason....

This is very moving. Just thought I'd share it.

You are who you are for a reason....
by Russell Kelfer

You are who you are for a reason.
You're part of an intricate plan.
You're a precious and perfect unique design,
Called God's special woman or man.

You look like you look for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knit you together within the womb.
You're just what He wanted to make.

The parents you had were the ones He chose,
And no matter how you may feel,
They were custom-designed with God's plan in mind,
And they bear the Master's seal.

No, that trauma you faced was not easy.
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into His likeness you'd grow.

You are who you are for a reason,
You've been formed by the Master's rod.
You are who you are, beloved,
Because there is a God!