Perfectionist / Perfectionism

I have to admit that I'm very guilty of being a total perfectionist of doing things. When I touch something or do something, it has to be perfect. The cost would be energy and time and sometimes even finances. Or all of the above. It looks bad, doesn't it?

Just recently moved my blog from WordPress to Blogger. Most of my stuff (contacts, calendar, virtual drive, documents, etc.) are with Google. It only makes sense to have my blog there too since they do provide the service anyway. Not to mention, I don't have to pay $12 or so a year for mapping my domain name to the blog URL. Blogger provides it free. Plus, we can customize our favicon! That's neat!

Moving to Blogger, there was some things that needs getting used to. One thing to note is that the dashboard is extremely faster than WordPress' dashboard. Less options, and there are some really annoying things in the editor. One thing is that it uses < br > tags for paragraphs instead of < p > tags. It creates some really annoying formatting problems. It took a couple of nights and some hours to finally settle down and accept that it's NOT WordPress anymore. Haha.....

I had to customize everything so that it is to my liking. I do hate being a perfectionist sometimes. But I realize, it's okay if I can control it and spend that for God instead. I know that I'm not perfect and even if I use the term "perfectionist," I don't literally mean it that way.

If I can be a perfectionist for something so small, and things I do and touch on a day to day basis, there's no reason why I can't be an perfectionist for God. In a spiritual, digging-deeper, asking and understanding, repenting, loving and praying kind of way. Not the weird, cultist, religion rules and regulations, pharisee kind of way, lol.

Well this is what I learned this week. My evaluations and convictions. Something I definitely need to apply to myself regularly. I already do it on almost everything else... why not for my Lord and Saviour Christ Jesus?

But the real issue is getting rid of this all together or at least limit it to a moderation. Honestly, I don't like being a "perfectionist". Its got its pros and cons, but mostly cons because it's just draining. Striving for something unreachable sometimes and just end up disappointed. Working on something and end up where there's a tiny error and you're, again, disappointed. My experience has led me to waste even more time redoing and still, it's not "perfect" and to my liking. Then I look at myself and recap how much time I wasted. In the end, I wasted time and accomplished nothing and I'm extremely disappointed and exhausted.

Heavenly Father, I thank you for you're still shaping me. You've done a lot of things in my life since I've given my life to my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. Continue to shape me. Continue to mold me. Help me overcome what's constantly holding me back. I don't want to be a perfectionist because I am not perfect. I want to be happy with the simplest things even if they don't look "perfect." Teach me to have a heart like yours. To have eyes that sees what you see. And a mind that seeks what you seek. In your precious Son's name, I pray. Amen.

The Same Love - Paul Baloche

This song was played in my church at Rexdale and I instantly fell in love with it. So simple yet so powerful. The theme really touches me. God's love is for everyone! Everyone is invited! A feast has been prepared and it is free to partake! Answer His call. His love for us heals the harshest, deepest wounds.

All praises to the Lord Jesus Christ, our Saviour!

Look for Christ and you will find Him

“Your real, new self (which is Christ's and also yours, and yours just because it is His) will not come as long as you are looking for it. It will come when you are looking for Him. Does that sound strange? The same principle holds, you know, for more everyday matters. Even in social life, you will never make a good impression on other people until you stop thinking about what sort of impression you are making. Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it. The principle runs through all life from top to bottom, Give up yourself, and you will find your real self. Lose your life and you will save it. Submit to death, death of your ambitions and favourite wishes every day and death of your whole body in the end submit with every fibre of your being, and you will find eternal life. Keep back nothing. Nothing that you have not given away will be really yours. Nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the dead. Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in.”

― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Song of Encouragement

There are so many Christian worship songs of encouragements but we always have our favorite ones. I'm sure many of us have a lot! I still don't know many Christian songs. Sometimes I'm in a group of people singing these songs I don't even know. Apparently, it is very popular. I used to feel ashamed and kind out of place. But not anymore. If I don't know the song, I don't sing it. I listen and try to sing when I get the grasp of it.

Anyways, when something is aching my heart or I feel uneasy and/or worried about something, sometimes I just meditate on God's Words and it goes away after a few minutes. Or I would play one of my favorite songs of encouragement which is "Find You On My Knees" by Kari Jobe. In fact, she's a link to the path that lead me to being baptized. But that's another story!

Hope you find this song very encouraging because the lyrics speaks so loud to me. It reminds me of my past life and what He's done and my current life to remain faithful and trust in the Lord. It is an amazing song!

Circumstances?

So how do see your circumstances? You wake up in the morning and look out your window, it's raining. You have plans today to go out and/or do some errands. Now you feel irritated. Would you look past the negatives and see the positives? Stop and listen for a second. Perhaps God just wants you to rest right now. He's seen how you work all week. You're getting overworked, stressed and restless. Soon you'll be easily angered. Rest. Give thanks to Him for giving you rest. For watering the plants and crops. Now you have time for Him.

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28 (ESV)
give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (ESV)

Again, how do you see your circumstances?

God is Faithful

1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

You just continue to amaze me with what You're doing. You only tempt me what I can endure. I cried out to You when I feel miserable. But I know You are there. Your presence comforts me. I thank You for disciplining me. For what happens to a child when he is not disciplined by his father? Thank you Heavenly Father! You have shown me true kindness. I will remain faithful to You because I know that whatever it is that You allow to happen in my life, it is Your will. And You know what's best for me at any given time. I refuse to take control of my life without Your guidance.

You have shown me that if I remain faithful to You, if I take delight in You, You would give the desires of my heart. Psalm 37:4 And so You have. And I know there is much much more to come. So I thank you Father for the amazing retreat that You have allowed me to go to. Meeting wonderful people, His church, His body. Connecting, sharing, having fun. I know You never let anything go to waste. You have a plan in everything, whether it is to teach, experience, discipline, trials to endure to get stronger, or be used for Your purpose. So I have complete trust in You. Lord Jesus, I just want You to always take the lead, in Your name, my Lord and mighty Saviour. Amen.