Perfectionist / Perfectionism

I have to admit that I'm very guilty of being a total perfectionist of doing things. When I touch something or do something, it has to be perfect. The cost would be energy and time and sometimes even finances. Or all of the above. It looks bad, doesn't it?

Just recently moved my blog from WordPress to Blogger. Most of my stuff (contacts, calendar, virtual drive, documents, etc.) are with Google. It only makes sense to have my blog there too since they do provide the service anyway. Not to mention, I don't have to pay $12 or so a year for mapping my domain name to the blog URL. Blogger provides it free. Plus, we can customize our favicon! That's neat!

Moving to Blogger, there was some things that needs getting used to. One thing to note is that the dashboard is extremely faster than WordPress' dashboard. Less options, and there are some really annoying things in the editor. One thing is that it uses < br > tags for paragraphs instead of < p > tags. It creates some really annoying formatting problems. It took a couple of nights and some hours to finally settle down and accept that it's NOT WordPress anymore. Haha.....

I had to customize everything so that it is to my liking. I do hate being a perfectionist sometimes. But I realize, it's okay if I can control it and spend that for God instead. I know that I'm not perfect and even if I use the term "perfectionist," I don't literally mean it that way.

If I can be a perfectionist for something so small, and things I do and touch on a day to day basis, there's no reason why I can't be an perfectionist for God. In a spiritual, digging-deeper, asking and understanding, repenting, loving and praying kind of way. Not the weird, cultist, religion rules and regulations, pharisee kind of way, lol.

Well this is what I learned this week. My evaluations and convictions. Something I definitely need to apply to myself regularly. I already do it on almost everything else... why not for my Lord and Saviour Christ Jesus?

But the real issue is getting rid of this all together or at least limit it to a moderation. Honestly, I don't like being a "perfectionist". Its got its pros and cons, but mostly cons because it's just draining. Striving for something unreachable sometimes and just end up disappointed. Working on something and end up where there's a tiny error and you're, again, disappointed. My experience has led me to waste even more time redoing and still, it's not "perfect" and to my liking. Then I look at myself and recap how much time I wasted. In the end, I wasted time and accomplished nothing and I'm extremely disappointed and exhausted.

Heavenly Father, I thank you for you're still shaping me. You've done a lot of things in my life since I've given my life to my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. Continue to shape me. Continue to mold me. Help me overcome what's constantly holding me back. I don't want to be a perfectionist because I am not perfect. I want to be happy with the simplest things even if they don't look "perfect." Teach me to have a heart like yours. To have eyes that sees what you see. And a mind that seeks what you seek. In your precious Son's name, I pray. Amen.