A Revelation

Shortly after my baptism, I felt a heavy burden in me. It was so heavy that on some days, it was hard to breathe. I have posted about it below. Basically, I felt only alive during Sundays, and from the time I come home from church to Saturday night, I felt completely alone, empty, and sadness engulfed me.

And then I posted again, 2 days later when the Lord answered my cry. It was amazing.

Now, just last week Thursday. I had a choir rehearsal for the Sunday service. As I walked in my church at Rexdale, (it was kinda empty because I was too early, as usual) a thought entered my mind. It was from God, "You cried to me and I heard you. You wanted everyday to be like Sundays, and now it is." I was in awe when I heard this. I didn't know how to process it. But I totally agreed. I was aware that almost every single day now, I'm in church. But I have completely forgotten what I asked from God. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ! He remains faithful and never forgets when we easily do.

I really thank God for all the things He does for me and for everyone. The love, discipline, guidance, teaching, wisdom, answered prayers, confirmations, revelations. I cannot live any other way without God by my side. Either He's always there with me, or He's already secured the path and waiting for me on the other end, or He carries me to where I need to be. What a beautiful loving relationship.

Look for Christ and you will find Him

“Your real, new self (which is Christ's and also yours, and yours just because it is His) will not come as long as you are looking for it. It will come when you are looking for Him. Does that sound strange? The same principle holds, you know, for more everyday matters. Even in social life, you will never make a good impression on other people until you stop thinking about what sort of impression you are making. Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it. The principle runs through all life from top to bottom, Give up yourself, and you will find your real self. Lose your life and you will save it. Submit to death, death of your ambitions and favourite wishes every day and death of your whole body in the end submit with every fibre of your being, and you will find eternal life. Keep back nothing. Nothing that you have not given away will be really yours. Nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the dead. Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in.”

― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Song of Encouragement

There are so many Christian worship songs of encouragements but we always have our favorite ones. I'm sure many of us have a lot! I still don't know many Christian songs. Sometimes I'm in a group of people singing these songs I don't even know. Apparently, it is very popular. I used to feel ashamed and kind out of place. But not anymore. If I don't know the song, I don't sing it. I listen and try to sing when I get the grasp of it.

Anyways, when something is aching my heart or I feel uneasy and/or worried about something, sometimes I just meditate on God's Words and it goes away after a few minutes. Or I would play one of my favorite songs of encouragement which is "Find You On My Knees" by Kari Jobe. In fact, she's a link to the path that lead me to being baptized. But that's another story!

Hope you find this song very encouraging because the lyrics speaks so loud to me. It reminds me of my past life and what He's done and my current life to remain faithful and trust in the Lord. It is an amazing song!

Circumstances?

So how do see your circumstances? You wake up in the morning and look out your window, it's raining. You have plans today to go out and/or do some errands. Now you feel irritated. Would you look past the negatives and see the positives? Stop and listen for a second. Perhaps God just wants you to rest right now. He's seen how you work all week. You're getting overworked, stressed and restless. Soon you'll be easily angered. Rest. Give thanks to Him for giving you rest. For watering the plants and crops. Now you have time for Him.

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28 (ESV)
give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (ESV)

Again, how do you see your circumstances?

God is Faithful

1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

You just continue to amaze me with what You're doing. You only tempt me what I can endure. I cried out to You when I feel miserable. But I know You are there. Your presence comforts me. I thank You for disciplining me. For what happens to a child when he is not disciplined by his father? Thank you Heavenly Father! You have shown me true kindness. I will remain faithful to You because I know that whatever it is that You allow to happen in my life, it is Your will. And You know what's best for me at any given time. I refuse to take control of my life without Your guidance.

You have shown me that if I remain faithful to You, if I take delight in You, You would give the desires of my heart. Psalm 37:4 And so You have. And I know there is much much more to come. So I thank you Father for the amazing retreat that You have allowed me to go to. Meeting wonderful people, His church, His body. Connecting, sharing, having fun. I know You never let anything go to waste. You have a plan in everything, whether it is to teach, experience, discipline, trials to endure to get stronger, or be used for Your purpose. So I have complete trust in You. Lord Jesus, I just want You to always take the lead, in Your name, my Lord and mighty Saviour. Amen.

And the Lord heard my cry!

Twice. Once from Vechka, my dear fellow Christian friend, sister in Christ, who was brave enough to click at my blog through Facebook...

And the other was just thrown at my face directly. Like a brick to the head, which is basically the same thing as what Vechka told me. I had time this morning to watch a sermon and I have plenty of choices. One I haven't heard from yet is John Piper. His sermon (2 Timothy 4:9–22) was long, and I was falling asleep on some parts of them. And I completely missed the message that was for me. After it finished, I noticed there is a text version of the entire sermon right under the video. And this just hit me in the head:

Jesus never intended that the enjoyment of his presence would replace the enjoyment of the presence of Christian friends.

Or to put it another way, When Christ died so that you could enjoy him supremely and forever, he did not nullify the fellowship of believers, he created it. Christ always intended that your friendship with him would be the heartbeat of your friendship with others. His presence would be the central joy of Christian friendship. And the joy of Christ-centered friendship would magnify the worth of Christ as the common treasure.

Where do I see that in this text? Look at verse 17. Even though everyone one else failed to show up at my trial: “Nevertheless the Lord stood by me and strengthened me.” Now, if that’s all we had we might say: See, when you have Jesus, you have one who never fails you, and so you don’t need those fallible, finite, failing friends.

But what does Paul say? Verse 9: “Do your best to come to me soon.” Verse 21: “Do your best to come before winter.” He wants Timothy’s presence. He longs for it. And this is no exception for Paul. He often spoke this way.

To the Romans, “I long to see you” (Romans 1:11). “I have longed for many years to come to you” (Romans 15:23). To the Philippians, “I love and long for, my joy and crown” (Philippians 4:1). To the Thessalonians: “Being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us” (1 Thessalonians 2:8).

So, even though, mere human beings are fickle, finite, fallen, fallible, failing friends, while Jesus was never-failing, Paul cherished such imperfect human friendship. Jesus never intended that the enjoyment of his presence would replace the enjoyment of the presence of other Christians. Christ did not die to create isolated worshipping individuals. He died to create Christ-exalting friendships. That is, he died and rose again to create the church.

I don't know what else to say after that aside from giving Him thanks. Praise the Lord! Thank you Lord Jesus.

Link to this entire sermon:
http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/sermons/he-stood-by-me-and-strengthened-me-for-the-sake-of-the-gospel

Live for Sundays~

It has been a long while since my last post. A WHOLE LOT has happened. But now isn't the time for summarizing all of that. Just need to cry out something that just keeps coming back to me frequently.

I live for Sundays... Each day of the week that isn't Sunday, I await the next Sunday. Why? It is the day I am completely united again with the body of Christ. His bride, the church, the people.

This shouldn't be so! Why only Sundays? It should be everyday! But that's the problem... I still do not know many people I can comfortably talk about anything and everything. I wanna jump at any opportunity to get to know His people and connect. But at the moment, I do not have any close relationship with another child of God. I want to have one... even just one... But why is that so hard to have?

And why do I even have any desire for that? Why do I need to have another person to encourage me? To care for me? All of those are good but why? Why do I feel that? Because of my Lord Jesus, God is with me. Shouldn't that be enough? Yes, I feel great and I can overcome these feelings because of God's promise and His Word. Meditating on them eases my heart. His voice calms my mind and convicts me. But why do these feelings of loneliness and sadness, etc. frequently returns?

Hear my cry, Oh Lord!

And still You want me...

BarlowGirl - I Need You To Love Me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqrO07PuZCk

You're a God who has all things, and still You want me...

This song pretty much describes my life's spiritual journey. I spent so much time doing meaningless things and being lost and not knowing where to go. Pushing Him away. But He never left me. He loved me so much that He eventually put me in a position where I was able to open my door, reach out and let Him in. I had it on loop for 6 hours during work. Great song. And BarlowGirl is a great band. Hope they tour Canada.

A friend told me that once you start listening to these type of songs, you'll never go back to listening to "today's" music. And in a way, it's true for the most part. And I completely agree. When I did listen to some of these "today's music", which are mostly about party, drugs, sex, [insert more immoral things here], I never really listened or pay attention to the lyrics because I just simply liked the beats and sound/rhymes. I guess that's why I prefer listening to video game music, instrumental music and trance. They seem to have more meaning and/or emotion, in a way. And peaceful, in a way.

I have actually liked these inspirational type of songs and I still do. I just don't know the name of the singers to be looking for. Because there are songs that I can't stand even if it's meaningful (eeek!) because of the way it sounds. So another friend gave me the annoyed look because of my reasoning. Even suggested some artists which I can't remember except for Chris Tomlin. I also answered my own question too, INTERNET!

So with that little push, I took the time to do some research. Wanted 2 male and 2 female for a nice variety. I also wanted something that will not annoy me. Because let's face it, if you can't stand the music, why force yourself to listen to it? So with that in mind, I was looking for light rock, pop'ish, BackStreet Boys, Celine Dion, Avril Lavigne, Evanescense type. Bought 4 albums off iTunes.

• The Afters - Light Up the Sky


• Matthew West - The Story of Your Life


• Audrey Assad - Heart


• BarlowGirl - Our Journey... So Far

Already have some memorized and the song above is one of them! Well you would think if someone just listened to it for 6 hours straight, they would have it memorized, yeah? In any case, the only other music I listen to are love songs, songs that has a meaning but not necessarily a worship song (ie. Jessie J - Price Tag), or music without lyrics. Though I haven't listened to them in a while. These 4 albums just have so much meaning.

In other news, I did some changes in my "About Me" and "Copyright" pages.

God bless!

What if there's a bigger picture?

Great song. Great message. I can relate. And so can you! Love God and love your neighbor. Your life is not about you.

Matthew West - My Own Little World

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9Yasgzjc0w

You are who you are for a reason....

This is very moving. Just thought I'd share it.

You are who you are for a reason....
by Russell Kelfer

You are who you are for a reason.
You're part of an intricate plan.
You're a precious and perfect unique design,
Called God's special woman or man.

You look like you look for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knit you together within the womb.
You're just what He wanted to make.

The parents you had were the ones He chose,
And no matter how you may feel,
They were custom-designed with God's plan in mind,
And they bear the Master's seal.

No, that trauma you faced was not easy.
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into His likeness you'd grow.

You are who you are for a reason,
You've been formed by the Master's rod.
You are who you are, beloved,
Because there is a God!

Being productive?

Cleaning room/house = productivity, right?

Hello Fido

So a few days ago, I hung out with my brother, Ivan, after his work and before my work. Confused? No? Good. Went to Eaton Centre. We just talked, catch up, went to Canadian Tire since my brother wanted to get a handheld vacuum. We met an a-hole employee who was very good at being a complete D-bag. Long story short, he was unhelpful and seem to really hate his job and life for that matter. Anyways, we didn't buy a vacuum. Price wasn't right.

We went to Fido and checked out if they have a good deal or better plan than what I currently have. Since I had gotten the Samsung Galaxy S II LTE smartphone, my old Blackberry plan which had 500MB wasn't cutting it anymore. It was an OK plan from years ago, but a Fido rep, Daniel, offered me a plan with plenty of unlimited and 2GB of data for slightly cheaper price than my current Rogers bill. I wanted it. Best of all there was no contract!!! I called Rogers to tell them I was switching to Fido even if I have a year of contract left with them. They offered me a similar plan but with ***6 GB*** of data. I was like... YEAH! GIMME THAT! Then just before he was about to sign me up, the Rogers rep (Harj) said that it's on a 3 year contract. I'm like, "Oh thanks for telling me. I don't want it. Next time say it earlier." *hung up* So I decided to leave Rogers/Robbers for Fido. Unfortunately my phone wasn't unlocked and I was running out of time. Work soon and I was hungry. I wasn't able to switch that night.

Anyways, time for food. First time I've been in the new food court at Eaton Centre, which they call Urban Eatery, if I recall correctly. It was huge. And the men's washroom was very neat. By neat, I mean fancy. We both ate some A&W Uncle burgers since it was the deal. Afterwards, we took the train home and part ways. I went straight to work.

After I get home from work, I was really determined to switch to Fido. I did some research on what site provides a legitimate unlocking service for a fair price. I have decided on www.cellunlock.net and was very happy. $16.99 for a hassle free phone unlocking. There's others that has cheaper pricing but with a bit more research reveals they are very unreliable. And may even be a scam. So I ordered a code, and slept. Woke up and my unlock code was sent in my email.

This was the day me and my roommate, Maira, was gonna see the movie, "Secret world of Arrietty." After the movie we just walked around a bit at Eaton Centre and I took the opportunity to go to Fido since my unlock code was with me and I really wanted the plan offered to me. So, the Fido rep gave me a new SIM card and I unlocked my phone. Switched to Fido! Lots of data, no contract, plenty of unlimiteds that I don't feel like listing. It was just a way better plan than Rogers could ever offer. Good riddance Rogers. I would've stayed with you guys if you didn't plan to put me in another contract with your desperate offered plan.

I am a happy person in terms of my phone plan. ^_^

Most fun day off

Sunday. Normally a tiring and very depressing and boring and all things sadness day. Which also happens to be my only day off. Sometimes, I just wanted to kick myself. Or bang my head on the wall. But that last part is an over exaggeration. Note that it has gone a LOT better now. Perhaps a story for another blog post?

After church, which had a pretty complicated message, just went home after stopping by to pick up some stuff from groceries. My roommate, Maira, had already planned out Sunday and was bringing her boyfriend, Gary, to our place and play some board and/or card games, as well as for me to meet get to know him. Good guy, nice guy, great guy. That's coming from a straight dude, so that's saying something. First we played some Uno card game. Me and Maira never played it but Gary explained. We played for points; three sets of games. Gary won three times, I came in second three times and Maira lost all three sets, lol. Had a lot of fun and laughs.

Next we played Monopoly board game. Fun, giggles, disappointments, laughs, cackles, shocks, screams, disbelief, (insert more). That's basically what happened. In short, Maira obliterated us since she got both the blue properties, Park Place and Boardwalk. And me and Gary were lucky enough to land on them. Good game.

Overall, the fun and games lasted about 7 hours straight. Haven't had that much fun on my day off in a long time. Except for that 2011 Christmas Day. Even if I didn't get any sleep, it was fun. Other than those 2 days, my day offs are extremely tiring and bland and boring and lifeless. Again, it's getting better since my work shift adjustment on Saturday nights.

Thanks, Maira, for a great time and for planning that day. *thumbs up* Even though, me having fun wasn't really the main focus of that "event". Really had a great time. Thanks to Gary for sticking to his word and coming over this time (he failed to, last time,) bringing the entertainment and for being a great guy (no homo).

ｍ（＿　＿）ｍ　。。。

Secret World of Arrietty

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vp2nb9Vq0yY

Saw this! Great movie. Loved it! ヾ(´□｀* )ノ Great visuals. I liked the story. There are some slow parts, mainly in the beginning. Studio Ghibli, Hayao Miyazaki have never ever disappointed me. I doubt they ever will.

My only tiny rant is... it felt short! Wanted more... (´･_･`)

Ah well!

Busy busy busy

Busy? Or procrastinating? NO! Definitely busy. Although, I have to admit, there is a teeny-bit of procrastination inserted somewhere.

Anyways. I'm trying to be more of an active blogger but it's so hard to-- to what? It's not hard! It's easy. You just do it. So what's keeping me from doing it? Darn! Lazy... But I'm not lazy... just that, it's not that important so I kind of just shrug it off.

Today, I got up and grabbed my flashlight and pointed it under my bed because I've been paranoid these past week. One day, I got home and noticed something. Giant red ants with wings! On some parts of my baseboards near my bed. Nasty! I vacuumed them up. Since then, I always look under my bed and the places where I found them. So back to the present. Again, I got up and grabbed my flashlight and looked around. Nothing. Normal. Played with my phone for a few minutes and sat on my bed. FEW MINUTES! I got up again and there's like 20 of them buggers next to my bed!!! I'm convinced there's a hole in there and their nest is just nearby. CREEPY!

Grabbed the vacuum and got rid of them pests. Was afraid they'll start multiplying inside the vacuum bag. I left for the grocery store and bought some baby powder. Apparently, they don't like baby powder/talc and suffocates them. Did some research. Vacuumed some baby powder for the ants in there. Then I sprinkled some on the spot where I believe is the entry point. So my room now smells like baby powder.

So that's my rant. I hope I never ever see them in my room again. Ugh!

Yup...

Seriously. I have NOT forgotten about my blog. I visit it everyday because it's my homepage when I turn on my laptop or desktop. But I never know what to write. Actually, there's too much to write except I get hit by the lazy spirit and everything go wah wah.

Sigh.